Avoiding the Fatal Pitfall of Personal Change

Imagine trying to swim the length of a pool with a fifty-pound weight strapped to your ankle. Or, walking across a tightrope while a crowd below pelts you with sticks and rocks.

Impossible!

Regardless of how much you wanted to succeed, you would be dragged down to the bottom of the pool or knocked off the rope in no time at all. Believe it or not, the very same thing may be happening to your or teens goals. And if nothing is done to save them, you'll be dragged away from all of the things you want for good.

Where Does the Problem Come From? We all have an incredibly powerful need to belong and be accepted. We want to feel loved and wanted by the people in our lives. Can you remember a time when your need to be loved wasn't being met? When you felt unimportant, disconnected, and alone?

It's an extremely difficult emotion to deal with as we all know too well. And this is the cause of the problem. Our need to be connected and loved is so intense that we will sabotage our own success in order to maintain our precious connections.

Here is an example. Imagine your goal is to exercise and get in shape. You're not extremely overweight or in any danger, you simply want to take better care of yourself.

It's a great goal and something you're really committed to achieving. And then it happens...

'That sounds foolish. 'Why would you waste your time doing that?' 'Who are you kidding? You know you can't actually stick to it.'

These are the weights that pull you down, the rocks that knock you off course. Your friends and family, with the best of intentions, try to pull you away from teens goals.

Why Would They Do That? Because of their need to stay connected with you. If you change and improve yourself, you'll be stepping into a new life and leave your friends behind. At least that's what they think. This is a frightening thought, and it drives the people in your life to keep you from changing.

Improving yourself also forces your close friends to examine their own shortcomings. If everyone aims low, no one can notice. But if one person steps up and aims high, everyone else has proof that they are settling for less.

And what do you do in response to these situations? As we've already discussed, you have a deeply rooted need to stay connected with the people around you. Feeling that improving yourself will disconnect you from your friends and family, you'll slowly let go of what could have been a great change in your life.

'Maybe they're right, it was a silly idea. I don't know what I was thinking anyway.' Say goodbye to your goal...
 

Even if you are strong enough to stick with your objective, a constant barrage of criticism and doubt will make success impossible. Change is difficult enough. Being surrounded by naysayers adds too many obstacles to the equation. This brings us to one important principle of motivation, one that you can't ignore if you want to improve your life. Read ...Music and Intelligence, Will Listening to Music Make You Smart